Man jokes
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
Memes
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.