Man jokes

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

Other man: How do you know that?

Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?

Spider-Man: Far From Home.

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.

A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?

The driving instructor.