Man jokes
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Memes
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.