Man jokes
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Memes
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!