Man jokes

What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?

"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

Kids- it's time for Dora.

Kids- YAY!

Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.

Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?

Kids- Where's Dora?

Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.

Kids- Poor Dora.

Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!

Swiper - AH MAN!!

Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.

Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?

What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?

They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.

The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.

What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.