Man jokes

Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"

What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?

Get a fucking job.

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.

The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?

Black ops.

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?

A: Because he is a "herbefore."

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

Other man: How do you know that?

Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.

Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!