Man jokes

A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?

Black ops.

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

Actually, Iron Man is female.

Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?

A: Because he is a "herbefore."

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

Other man: How do you know that?

Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.

Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?

Spider-Man: Far From Home.