Man jokes
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Memes
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
Actually, Iron Man is female.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.