Man jokes
It's raining men! Hallelujah!
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
Being gay is the most masculine thing that is possible because only men can be gay.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
type shizz
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Child: Dad, I want you to say "I'm a Man" after everything I say!
Dad: Uh, okay?
Child: My wife cheated on me.
Dad: I'm a man.
Child: So I went to the bar.
Dad: I'm a man.
Child: I met a hot girl.
Dad: I'm a man.
Child: So I brought her home.
Dad: I'm a man.
Child: After sleeping together, she woke up, faced me and said...
Dad: I'm a man.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!