Man jokes
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Memes
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?