I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
