Man jokes

A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?

Caregiver.

Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?

He lost May.

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"

What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

"Get off me homes."

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

Why can’t the blind man find love?

It’s called love at first sight.

I like my men how I like my coffee...

WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.

The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."

The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."

A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"

A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"

The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."

The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"

Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.

Who is the man behind all lives matter?

Michael Jackson.