Man

Man jokes

Orphan

    • Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

    Kid: Why?

    Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

    Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

    Man: Why?

    Kid: I'm an orphan.

    Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

    (You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

    Razor

    • There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

    John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

    Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

    John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

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    • Bar

    • Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

    The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

    Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

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    • Man memes

    Blowjob

    • Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?

    Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽

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    • Layla

    • A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

    The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

    The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

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    • Bath

    • What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?

    One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.

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    • Uncle

    • My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

    All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

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    • Woman

    • What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?

    The man says, "I have everything I need."

    The woman says, "I love everything I have."

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