Man jokes

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

What is the postman's favorite fruit?

Water-mail-on.

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.

An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

What's the smallest stick in the world?

Your man's dick.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")