Man

Man jokes

Pole

    • A man walks into a bar.

    Then he walks into a Pole.

    Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

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    • Stereotype

    • Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!

    Women, go chop some lumber!

    White people, get back into the cotton fields!

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    • Cheat

    • A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

    The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

    The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

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    • Suicide

    • A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

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    • Man memes

    Dog

    • A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

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    • Titanic

    • शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।

    Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.

    Clock

    • A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

    The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

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    • Anilingus

    • Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

    Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

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    • Grandson

    • An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

    After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

    Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

    The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

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    • Son

    • A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

    Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

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