A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon” Man: “Am I dying?” Doctor: “No, your wife is”
Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men. Then gets mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close the casket.
3 men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish, the 1st man wished he was home with his family, the 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
noose:" hey man, wanna hang out?" corpse:"sorry man, im dead inside."
my worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
I was at afghanistan and i had been captured by the taliban. I was going to get the death penalty. Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now i will die. Shame on u penaldo!!
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked "where are you from" and I said Portugal. He replied, "so you are a fellow country man of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Penaldo for costing me my dream job
I was at school today and one of my friends said after a test man that was hard. After that I started laughing and I said that’s what she said.
Yeah man, you watch pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see ur mom in bed.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat say "Do u need help?" And he said no. After the boat left, another boat came to the sea. And they asked if he needed help. And he said no. And he asked God "Why didn't u help me?" God said "I sended u 2 big boats, you dummy!
What's more sensitive than a pushy? A western man on the internet.
