Man

Man jokes

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

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  • "Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

    "Ok!"

    "Are you ok, man?"

    "Yeah, I’m fine."

    "Dude, pull your pants back up!"

    Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"

    There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

    Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

    Rape victim: I want to die.

    Man: Hang in there.

    Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.

    An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

    The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

    If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

    Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

    President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

    Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

    President: Drop it on them!

    Man: You push the button.

    President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

    Man: Hands over button

    President: Pushes it

    Both: YAAA!

    President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

    Both: Oh, sh*t!

    Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

    Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

    "Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

    A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

    The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

    A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

    What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

    One makes your day and one makes your whole week.