Made jokes

Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?

Me: 'Cause God made you.

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.

The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"

That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)

Who was the first carpenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...

Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.

Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.

P.S. No hating in these comments.

What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?

Mandachlorian.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

They made a movie about 9/11.

It was a big hit.

Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.

Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)

I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Jesus was drinking when he made you.