Made jokes
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
Memes
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.
Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.
Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.