Love jokes

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

Because that’s the only love they get.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.

Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?

Donald Trump can only F@#k up.

For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!

What do you call a bee’s love?

Honey.

"I will Always Love You!"

Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?

Because she loves raisin' kids.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.