Love jokes
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
My mum's a carrot.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!