Love jokes
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.