I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
