what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
