Lose jokes

Why did Hitler lose the war?

Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!

Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.

When a man loses his testosterone,

Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?

"If you can't win, lose."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!

What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?

It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!

Why will America always lose in chess?

It lost its two towers!

Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?

The motherboard was nowhere to be found.

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?

Kill her afterwards.

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.

Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.

Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.

Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.

Nathan: WE-WE

Alicia: WEE-WEE?

Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes

Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u

Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*

Alicia: *WEIRD*

Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose

Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess

cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou

nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy

cuugh umm

Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?

Because he was playing with a cheetah!

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.

GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with Soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom. Soph: "This is why Arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded."

Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: "BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF!"

Adapt: Hey Adapt, did you know you're smart? Smart for being retarded. Yo Adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your Roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!

Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: "YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE" Normal People: I support only 1 team. Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And I'm the biggest plastic in the server!!