Lose jokes

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

Why do people never kick their own balls?

Because they might lose one!

How did the orphan lose its parents?

Its parents never came back from getting milk.

Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.

Why did the orange lose the race?

Because it ran out of juice!

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!

You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹

Why did the Red Sox lose?

They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?

She died.

How did they lose 2 Towers?

Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.

(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?

Because he was a cheetah!

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.