How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Why can't England play chess? Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
