Lose jokes
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.