What's worse than failed attempted suicide? The pity looks people gives you and people keeps u away from 'dangerous' things
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either
it’s just true
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, theres a spider. The blind man simply said. "Step on it".
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repletedly told him to look where he was going
10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is red and looks like a zebra
my arm Hehhehehehe UwU
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
they both look good hanging from a tree
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Sans: why didn't the skeleton not go to the party? Papyrus: because they looked like me? Sans:... Sure
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
