Look jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
"Alex, hi, you here!?"
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"