Look jokes

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Why did the orphan try to get hurt?

Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.

He looks around, no one is there.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?

TripAdvisor.com

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?

Oppenheimer

I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?