Look jokes
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
Anyone wanna talk? I'm bored.
I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.
I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Looks like he never charged up fully.
Kevin Woody (look him up)