Location jokes
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going home and walk home and I got home.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good? Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.