Location jokes

The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.

A man walks into a bar.

I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Were you born on a highway? Because that is where most mistakes happen.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...

Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

Mmm, I'm Walter McWhitey, I'm from the newest Mexico.

A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."

In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.

At the end of the day, it's night.

"I was lost in the woods yesterday."

"I was in some sticky situation..."

Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

I found this at school.

"Yo, Gabriella, any idea where our other friends are?"