Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot A man will actually look for the golf ball
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
