A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
