Location jokes

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?

Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?

Everywhere.

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?

"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"

Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.

Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”

Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈