Location jokes

A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?

Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!

Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.

Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?

Everywhere.

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?

"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"

Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?

Borderline Personality Disorder.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.

Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”

Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.