All germs are from GERMany.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
outside lmao.
-inside gang sucks. This joke was made by outside gang.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
Why did the Ice Cube complain about being so warm? Because he was dropped on the floor.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
