Location jokes
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
Where do whales get weighed?
The whaleway station.
Bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Who am I sitting next to?