Like jokes

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.

Why do kids like bananas?

'Cause they like doing the nana.

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

This is crop tops! Go to crop tops and click each picture and look! Comment too.

Oh, and like!

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!

Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

I smell like skunk.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

No one has my back like my dad.

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.

Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?