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Wife

My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.

Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.

Rape

Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.

Orphan

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.

People

Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!

Fish

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hairline

Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!

Night

Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

Emo

What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?

"Nice cut, G."

Website

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

Insult

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Teacher

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"