Like jokes
I smell like skunk.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
Like if its true
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
No one has my back like my dad.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.