Like jokes
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.
Girls be like
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.
You fighting? More like you're dying!
Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.
Rot in hell?
More like nasty-ass thot in a well.
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
Why does Fallout look like Ohio?
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."