Like jokes

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

Question:

Did you hear the one about MAGA people?

Answer:

It "sucks" just like they do!

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.

Luke looks like Big Chungus and Fat Sonic.

You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.

Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?

Because they don't like Dick's!

Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.