Like jokes
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Yo head built like 2 parentheses.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.