Like jokes
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Lmao
I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.
Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.