Like jokes

I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.

Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Because they looked like me?

Sans: ... Sure.

Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.

What do planets like to read? Comet books!

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.

You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.

Person: Uh okay.

You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?

Person: Addicted.

You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?

Person: Addicted.

You: What hit you in the face last night?

Person: Addicted... *laughs*

(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Men: "I like dogs."

Women: "I like cats."

Chinese: "Food is food."

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.