Like jokes

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

What do gay men like cocks?

🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

Men: "I like dogs."

Women: "I like cats."

Chinese: "Food is food."

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?