Like jokes
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
like this if you have ever been abused.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.