Like jokes

like this if you have ever been abused.

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

I love you like my cuts.

Deeply.

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.