Like jokes

The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.

Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don’t like fast food.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Like if you love food!

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)