Like jokes

You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.

Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Like if you love food!

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?

He has no legs...

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?

Johnny was deaf.

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