Like jokes
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Memes
Who would've known?
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
What did the rapper say when their computer crashed?
"Looks like I just dropped a HARD DRIVE!"
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"