Like jokes

Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?

Because it's in bread.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

Children are like pills.

The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?

"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.

What do cheetahs like?

Sports!

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

What did the rapper say when their computer crashed?

"Looks like I just dropped a HARD DRIVE!"