Like jokes

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

How do rappers like their pizza?

With extra rhyme-a-jalapenos.

BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.

Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.

That’s like 20 years from now, I said.

He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.

You fighting? More like you're dying!

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

How do rappers like their coffee?

With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

Looks like URL encoding is enabled for special characters inside comments. Good job to whoever developed this website!

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

Spell fuzz.

Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.

Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.