Like jokes

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Why do candles like birthdays?

Because they can get lit!

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

"Proud boys" more like snitch boys!

White people be like, "Less bomb Ukraines hospitals and schools!"

Hahaha, dumb white people!

Ukraine be like dead children...

RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.

Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.

The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?

A family.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.

I go beep like a Jeep.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.