Like jokes

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

Why do disabled people not like comedians?

Because they do stand up.

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Think like a proton--stay positive!

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"