Like jokes

Guess

what’s dudeese · 1 year ago

Wordle be like (Part 2):

COMBS 💚🩶🩶🩶💚

CURES 💚💚🩶🩶💚

CULTS 💚💚🩶💚💚

Girl

smileskull1 · 3 years ago

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Brother

ian the burner · 5 years ago

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

Eagle

Anonymous · 6 years ago

Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!

Megamind

Anonymous · 4 years ago

You look like Megamind, drug dealer.

User

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Do you like my clash of clans user?

Like memes

Sexual Assault

Anonymous · 2 months ago

I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

Cheese

U weirdo · 5 years ago

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

Difference

Anonymous · 9 years ago

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

Professor

Anonymous · 6 years ago

A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

Water

Anonymous · 7 years ago

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

Car

somepig · 3 years ago

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Puberty

caleb rohr · 5 years ago

Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.

Sky

Addison Banks age (8). "Gina Claw Scare" · 5 years ago

Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?

"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.

Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!

They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.

Dog

Bob77 · 5 years ago

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

Boy

HAHA · 2 years ago

Boys are like minis.

Girls are like big pots.

Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

Emotion

bre/laim · 5 years ago

If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.

Elephant

Lil johnny · 5 years ago

Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"