Like jokes
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Ben Inkster, more like gay.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
Nerds be like...
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
I am curious how many likes this will get.
LIKE IT!!!!!
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
Like if I'm fine-ish.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
9/11
This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!
Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...