Like jokes
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Memes
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.