Like jokes
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
DAM
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"