Like jokes
So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.