Like jokes

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.

How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"Drop it like it's HOT!"

Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.

There’s no hope.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.

McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.