Like jokes
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Memes
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"Drop it like it's HOT!"
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
The boys joking be like:
One guy: "Balls!"
All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?