Like jokes

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.

How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.

How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?

Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Would you like some wine with those French cries?

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.