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Like jokes

Museum

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

Car

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

Ex

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

Pie

The pie tasted weird today.

Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

Girl

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

Chocolate

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Guy

Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!

Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3

Dad

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

Chivalry

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.