Light jokes
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?
He left the landing lights on.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Memes
but i dont have a mom she can't help
The sun is fire.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.