"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?
He left the landing lights on.
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None there is no electricity
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
The sun is already bright, stupid!
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite button?
Light mode.
