Light jokes

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?

'Cause he was in need of a light snack!

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.

The sun is already bright, stupid!

Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"