Light jokes

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch.

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, there is no electricity.

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.

Why is death taken so lightly?

Because you can take it so quickly.

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?

'Cause he was in need of a light snack!

The sun is already bright, stupid!

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!