Light Jokes

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red

why did the sun go to church Because it needs jeuse

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games." Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen. I turned on the light and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled ,,there is big game tomorrow", and he disappeared.

God said “let there be light” so it beamed off your forehead and so I turned into stevie wonder and called it night

Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.

Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms:K a l m

When the autistic kid's sketchers light up: P A N I K

What do you call a son of gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of gilgamesh.

when god said let there be light he got blinded because you reflected it of your forhead

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”

What does a white person say when there Surrounded by black guys? "hey who turned the lights out?!"

If the sun is 9n space, then why is there light on earth, but not in space?

How do you know you are blessed by God?

You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other

Do you want to hear a dark joke let me turn the lights off