Light jokes

Shortly after the hole was finished, everyone in the forest was looking for long grass to fill the hole. The upper layer covered it with short grass and scattered some grass around the hole so it didn't seem as conspicuous. The next evening, the villagers hid in their houses and turned off the lights and waited inside, while one of the farmers stood outside and, if possible, unobtrusively skimped on a cart.

Around midnight, the Headless Rider appeared with his horse in the village. He saw the seemingly single peasant scooping his hay and rode towards him. He was about to swing his axe, and while he was doing so, he overlooked the slightly more scattered grass near the farmer – and thus fell into the trap. He clumsily slumped into the prefabricated hole together with his horse and now lay there helplessly inside, together with his horse, which swayed in panic as the rider's axe was stuck in its back.

When the villagers heard this, they all stormed out of the houses to surround the hole. They saw the Headless Rider, and when he noticed all the villagers around him, he cursed: “Gaaah! You stupid villagers caught me! I can't do much down here. I give up.” The villagers took his axe away from him. Now they only needed a just punishment for the rider.

One of the villagers shouted: “We should tie him to a rope and hang him! He tried to kill us all and plagued us for a long time. So we should kill him and let him suffer for a long time!” The other villagers agreed with him. So they tied a thick rope to a branch of a large tree that stood in the village garden. The villagers took the Headless Rider out of the hole and dragged him to the rope. As they were about to hang the rope around his neck, they noticed that something didn't fit in their plan to hang the Headless Rider. Then the Headless Rider cried out: “You stupid mortals, I have no head at all! Why are you trying to hang me?”

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"

The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."

A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."

Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?

A human chandelier.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

No sun.

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.