Lifestyle jokes

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Who left him hanging?

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

What's your fav color?

"Emo kid hanging."

What’s the only reason Emos drink?

To get hungover.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

What do emo kids and bananas have in common?

They both hang on trees.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

What’s Emos favourite bacci?

Cutters choice.

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?

xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.

What time is it when you get home? Time to sleep.

What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

I love sleep 🛏!

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?

They both eat from trash.