Lifestyle jokes

I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.

Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

🤔 What do Polish people 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 in Poland do with 📰 📰 📰 📰 newspapers 📰 📰 📰 📰 after they are done reading them?

Use them for toilet paper. 🧻 🧻 🧻 🧻 😆 😄

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

What's your fav color?

"Emo kid hanging."

What time is it when you get home? Time to sleep.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

What’s the only reason Emos drink?

To get hungover.

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

Who left him hanging?

What’s Emos favourite bacci?

Cutters choice.

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?

What do emo kids and bananas have in common?

They both hang on trees.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.