Lifestyle jokes
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
What game do Emos play?
Fruit Ninja.
(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
What do you call a flat emo girl?
A cutting board.
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What's another nickname for a flat emo?
A copping boars.
Who is your mum?
An emo.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
When your friend moves to Texas and she comes back a cowgirl.
YEEEHAWW!
I'm a recovering cake addict.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.