Lifestyle jokes
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"
What do you call a flat emo girl?
A cutting board.