Lifestyle jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.

Why can’t an emo have sex?

They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

Have you ever tried sex when camping?

It's f***ing intense.

Why are skinny people skinny?

Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.

Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just cry in darkness.

Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?

What do you call a gay emo kid?

Fruit Ninja.

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

What game do Emos play?

Fruit Ninja.

(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)

Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?

After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.

What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?

A cocksucker.

If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...