Life jokes
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.
Memes
It's 5050
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
Imagine not having a dad.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.