Life jokes

How do you know if your wife is dead?

Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.

The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.

One time, a cow saved my life.

It was bovine intervention.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

Why does this exist?

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

Orphan, they're enough of a joke.

Why are all orphans criminals?

Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.